I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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