Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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