we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
