I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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