I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This house was built for laser tag.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think I have vodka in my lungs
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
