i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
