I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
