I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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