My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
