you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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