So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
