Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
