Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
