And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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