I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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