my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
