:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
