You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
