I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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