Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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