i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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