i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
