dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
