I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
