I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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