im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We left the knife in your bed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
