don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
