turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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