Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
