Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just gift wrapped bread.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
