The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize