Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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