The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i drank out of a bidet.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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