it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize