Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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