If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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