It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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