There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
