If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
