i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
