we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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