I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
