living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
