Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how drunk are you?
Several
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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