her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
