Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
