My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just had sex on a roof
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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