The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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