Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
