I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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