But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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