i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
