is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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