it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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