so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
