yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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