Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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