I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you traded sex for a burrito?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
